Text, Drugs and Flying Bottles

I don’t like to pick holes but sitting in the crowd at The Hawthorns at the weekend it was difficult not to be disappointed with Danny Murphy’s goal celebrations. The first was a brief wave of an arm before being patted on the back by a couple of team-mates whilst the second was to kick the ball into the net for a second time, just to make sure, before briefly running in front of the Addickted with an arm aloft. Now we know why. Danny had to text the missus each time (scroll to end) to let her know he’d scored whilst no doubt reminding her at the same time not to forget the Rice Krispies and the Jammy Dodgers he’d asked for. Waitrose, I ask you (and which one please?). Can’t beat Morrisons you know. Time to text her would have been whilst waiting after the game to give a sample for drug testing, as he apparently had to do. Seriously, we really need to sort out some decent celebratory routines.

Then there’s the flying water bottle mystery. Sky’s ‘Goals on Sunday’ showed Curbs kicking a water bottle after the Thomas/Bent ‘second’ goal cock-up although the great man himself insists that this was a neat bit of trickery by Sky as he actually kicked it earlier in the game after Radi dwelt on the ball too long and needlessly gave away possession. Either way, the only water bottle I saw fly was from the boot of Dennis ‘The Increasingly Impressive’ Menace when once again becoming the sacrificial lamb that is the first substitution.

Talking of Radi/Raddo/Rady. Actually, do we have to ? Unfortunately yes we do. He seems able to perform to a certain standard for about sixty minutes before his whole game goes to pieces before your very eyes. Passes start going astray, concentration lapses and suddenly he wants ten minutes on the ball to think about what to do next. It’s as if he is whisked off to a land far away. Waitrose perhaps ? Anyone know where Mrs Kishishev shops these days ? Or is it just that he can’t text as fast as our Danny can.

Finally, whatever else transpires in January we need to make ‘Smerts’ signing permanent then, if not before. Realistically he has no real future at Chelsea but can have a fantastic future at The Valley. Tying up a permanent deal would be the best bit of business we could do.